Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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