I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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