bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
