Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
