He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
