Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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