sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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