Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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