Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
