then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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