I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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