I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
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Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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