Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
two words...techno handjob
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
