He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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