It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
