You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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