Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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