the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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