If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
