You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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