what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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