How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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