all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
