I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
