9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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