Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
