she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
