I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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