its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
