omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have feelings that need drinking.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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