I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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