hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
