Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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