i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
