He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
