he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
