oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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