One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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