Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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