sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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