I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
