Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
