jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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