these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize