I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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