David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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