Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
