Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
