If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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