Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize