can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
