True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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