; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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