Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
