you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
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I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?