reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy