He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i now understand why vodka