I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize
