the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
