i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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