i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My ATM looks so different sober.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
