Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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