is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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