I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
