do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
