ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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