Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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