On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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