a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
