I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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