Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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