I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
