Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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